Tuesday, January 15, 2008


At the urge of my supervisor, Winifred has taken to calling Huckabee "Suckabee"; this is unlike Winifred (but not so much The King, who has, to my enjoyment egged her on and found other more profane nicknames) who has, to date, eradicated the following words from her home: fart, snot, sucks, and pissed. (I am in so much trouble now.)
Winifred is a woman of many articulate words, but she must be frustrated to fall into the King's traps and break her silence on using "Suck." You know what? She's not just frustrated. She's angry.
Any chocolate-lover who crosses her may in fact, be going down. Any woman that is overheard saying they don't think they can support Hilary will find herself in the cross hairs. One woman said she would vote for whoever would make "the country safe," and I realize now that she probably meant terrorism but I was thinking street crime which finally launched my own homegrown/anarchist safety-and-change-begin-locally harangue. This can only mean one thing: Winifred has expounded on her frustrations so much that I am no longer amused. I have cracked.
We met with Charlotte downtown wherein Winifred Lost It again, and began a long harangue about politics, and why is it women won't vote for a woman just because she's a woman, and why am I the only one afraid of Huckabee, and, seriously, people are behind Ron Paul, and why is Obama so much better, isn't he just the same? And then I walk to the next room because, well, truth be told, I'm burned out on "candidates" when I know I'm going to hate this president as much as the current one.
Hi, I'm Captain, and I was so excited to see Anti-Flag I went by myself, and even knowing that the mom next to me was rolling her eyes, giggled when Justin Sane announced, "IF I HAD IT MY WAY WE'D MARCH TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND PAINT IT BLACK!" It's very nice to meet you.
I told Winifred, with the museum patrons and Charlotte present, it was time to step into her anonymous power and post these issues herself. Not because I am burned out--I enjoy her tangents, her complaints, her grievances--but because there are others who feel the same. And given my inability to discuss politics online with getting exasperated, it's probably better that she takes this cause.
She's still shy, though. Even knowing I'll do all the work for her, I'm left to share these bits of e-mail:

The tv is full of crockpots. My annoyance with John Edwards had to do with his criticism of Hilary's war vote. I want McCain to just go away to wherever it is old soldiers go to.

I am here to tell you that this election, more than any other, is going to drive me absolutely crazy. If I see one more woman on televisions saying how she would loooove to have a female president, just not this one I think I will shoot out the screen. God knows I would love to not have this man for president either! On top of all this, the news just showed a jackass teen from NH who registered to vote today so he could vote for Sen. Obama. Why you might ask? "Well, peer pressure had a lot to do with it. All my friends wanted to vote for him." Ok, so where are all the girls and their peer pressure to vote for Sen. Clinton? Undoubtedly following the boys. You see, I am going to lose my mind.

Today she forwarded an e-mail of Charlotte's, which included an alarming quote from Suckabee:
Terrifying quote of the week from *&^uckabee: "I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that's what we need to do is amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than trying to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family."

Oh wait! That's it. I guess Winifred should step up her game, then. Because with a modern, feminist, up-in-arms, mother of three daughters, vet must have a lot to say, no?

I wanted to link more, but I grew angry. As for readers who disagree, I hope you'll stick around despite our differing opinions.

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