Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Winifred loves Sarah Plain and Tall. Emily does too, so I'll demure with a polite, "And I do not." I look up from the laptop and find Glenn Close, Sarah, has fallen in the snow. She trudged in the snowstorm in the dead of night (2 a.m., approximately, but it's 1918 so I'll gladly take a 10 p.m.) and is found in the morning light (about 8 a.m.) It's the MidWest, people, so she should be DEAD.

I gasp.
And Winifred says, "It's Glenn Close! They won't kill Glenn Close!"

Really? What about Michael Douglas?

Sunday, July 6, 2008


Winifred is at the grocery store and I am supposed to be ready to leave when she returns. She promised the honk when she got to the driveway, and I am supposed to rush outside, rush inside, put away the cold items (deli meats, milk, butter, et al.) and dive to the front seat. Coupons for our expedition, notebook, pens, and cell phones should already be in my purse; makeup already applied.

My aunt had a date one night and her date honked from the driveway. Ina went outside to meet him but didn't reach the car before Winifred drove outside to accost the young man. My aunt was a fox, so this behavior was strangely commonplace, but an enraged Winifred forced her sister inside and made the young man come to the front door, meet Winifred properly, and ask for Ina.

You can bet all Hellboy would break loose if a boy I was seeing honked in our driveway. When Winifred honks I'm going to stay inside and wait for a proper introduction.