She's That Kind of Mother

Hello Girls,

This is how an article in the [local paper] begins: "Whenever my mother starts out a conversation with "Did you know so and so?" it can only mean three things. The person is either in jail, pregnant or dead."
I admit it--I am also that mother.
Love, MOM

Maybe it's because of my age, but so far all of the names have been former peers who have received scholarships or awards.